Discipline and Initiating with your Kids

Quote of the week – “Deception is Satan’s native tongue.”

How you deal with discipline in your own life impacts your effectiveness in disciplining your kids.
How do you handle it when someone corrects you?

Proverbs 15:32 – if you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.

The Discipline Biggies

  • Be on the same page as your wife on discipline.
  • Always tell the truth. All the time.
  • Respect for authority in your house. Make especially sure your kids respect their mom.
  • Discipline for attitudes, not just actions
  • Fun and relationship balances discipline.
  • Household is characterized by peace, kindness, and respect.
  • Be a student of your kids.
  • Don’t let your house turn into a whine-ery. Don’t whine… communicate.
  • Control the sense of entitlement. You are not your child’s servant. Teach your kids to serve and it will give them a biblical world view. Get out of your neighborhood and teach them to serve the less fortunate.
  • Where is your “I mean it” line?  Let your yes be yes. Your “I mean it line” needs to be the first time. No idle threats or manipulation.
  • Display healthy conflict in front of your kids. Let your kids know that you are committed to each other even when you fight.  “Go sit on the conflict couch and work it out”

Biblical Principles for Discipline
Proverbs 19:18 – Discipline your children while there is hope.  Otherwise you will ruin their lives.
Proverbs 13:24 – Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.
Proverbs 22:15 – A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.
Proverbs 29:15 – To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.

Discipline through the Years

  • 1-5 years of age – Corporal – Physical discipline
  • 6-10 years of age – Correction – Tech; Social; Hobby; Chores
  • 11-18 years of age – Coaching – Tech; Social; Hobby; Chores
  • 19+ years of age – Community – Alongside you

Discipline in the Pre-Teen Years

  • In private
  • With self control
  • Promptly
  • Communicate the “why” of discipline
  • Object that does not do lasting harm
  • Make it memorable
  • Accompanies with verbal affirmation, physical love, and prayer

Proverbs 29:17 – Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.
Proverbs 10:1 – A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother
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Initiate with your kids – Pray, Plan, Execute
Don’t be passive. Genesis 3. Adam’s sin was his silence.
Romans 5:12 – “just as sin entered the world through ONE MAN.” It’s our responsibility.

These are the things that give us the right to do what we do. It’s the keys to the right to disciple and discipline.
A few practical reminders:
1. If the idea is mine, I’m much more likely to execute it.
2. Take care of yourself so you have gas in the tank at the end of the day.
3. Take advantage of opportunities as they are there.

Initiate in:
Fun – have a plan. When you get out of the house, it helps you engage
Friendship – spend time with your kids specifically to build friendships
Spontaneous discipleship – Mercy, Grace, and Ice Cream
Intentional discipleship – have a plan for your kids.  Know what the next step is

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