Discipline and Initiating with your Kids

Quote of the week – “Deception is Satan’s native tongue.”

How you deal with discipline in your own life impacts your effectiveness in disciplining your kids.
How do you handle it when someone corrects you?

Proverbs 15:32 – if you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.

The Discipline Biggies

  • Be on the same page as your wife on discipline.
  • Always tell the truth. All the time.
  • Respect for authority in your house. Make especially sure your kids respect their mom.
  • Discipline for attitudes, not just actions
  • Fun and relationship balances discipline.
  • Household is characterized by peace, kindness, and respect.
  • Be a student of your kids.
  • Don’t let your house turn into a whine-ery. Don’t whine… communicate.
  • Control the sense of entitlement. You are not your child’s servant. Teach your kids to serve and it will give them a biblical world view. Get out of your neighborhood and teach them to serve the less fortunate.
  • Where is your “I mean it” line?  Let your yes be yes. Your “I mean it line” needs to be the first time. No idle threats or manipulation.
  • Display healthy conflict in front of your kids. Let your kids know that you are committed to each other even when you fight.  “Go sit on the conflict couch and work it out”

Biblical Principles for Discipline
Proverbs 19:18 – Discipline your children while there is hope.  Otherwise you will ruin their lives.
Proverbs 13:24 – Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.
Proverbs 22:15 – A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.
Proverbs 29:15 – To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.

Discipline through the Years

  • 1-5 years of age – Corporal – Physical discipline
  • 6-10 years of age – Correction – Tech; Social; Hobby; Chores
  • 11-18 years of age – Coaching – Tech; Social; Hobby; Chores
  • 19+ years of age – Community – Alongside you

Discipline in the Pre-Teen Years

  • In private
  • With self control
  • Promptly
  • Communicate the “why” of discipline
  • Object that does not do lasting harm
  • Make it memorable
  • Accompanies with verbal affirmation, physical love, and prayer

Proverbs 29:17 – Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.
Proverbs 10:1 – A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother
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Initiate with your kids – Pray, Plan, Execute
Don’t be passive. Genesis 3. Adam’s sin was his silence.
Romans 5:12 – “just as sin entered the world through ONE MAN.” It’s our responsibility.

These are the things that give us the right to do what we do. It’s the keys to the right to disciple and discipline.
A few practical reminders:
1. If the idea is mine, I’m much more likely to execute it.
2. Take care of yourself so you have gas in the tank at the end of the day.
3. Take advantage of opportunities as they are there.

Initiate in:
Fun – have a plan. When you get out of the house, it helps you engage
Friendship – spend time with your kids specifically to build friendships
Spontaneous discipleship – Mercy, Grace, and Ice Cream
Intentional discipleship – have a plan for your kids.  Know what the next step is

Developing your kid’s hunger for God’s Word

Developing your kid’s hunger for God’s Word

UPDATED – Listen to the Audio

1) Let them see you reading, studying, memorizing God’s word.
2) Make God’s Word fun.
3) Be in God’s Word together.
4) Apply scripture to their current life situation.
5) Affirm their time in/memorizing God’s Word.
6) Have a simple plan.

Teaching Truth – Equipping your kids through the years.

Age 1-5

  • God created me.
  • God loves me, and he loves you too.
  • The Bible is absolutely true.
  • God is good. God is powerful. God is always in control.
  • Jesus wants to be my friend forever.

1st-5th Grade

  • God sent his son to pay the price for the world’s sins, and he promises eternal life for those who believe in Him.
  • The Bible is written by God through His followers; wisdom and life change come from living by it’s truth.
  • God can be trusted with everything no matter what, because He is who He says He is.
  • Christ followers know their identity is in Him, and are therefore others-focused.

6th-12th Grade

  • Find security and confidence in your identity.
  • Learn to control your tongue.
  • Understand, own, defend, and share your faith.
  • Develop healthy friendships.
  • Define healthy relationships with the opposite sex.
  • Become influential in the lives of others.
  • Face the world and make wise choices.

So how do you disciple your kids?

  • Extraordinary kids do not come from ordinary homes.
  • Pray, “Lord, protect my kids from all that is in me that is not of You.”
  • Ask for forgiveness. All the time.
  • It’s never too late, but the time to start is now.
  • “If you don’t know what harbor you are going to, you won’t know what wind to catch to get there.”
  • Your goal in parenting is not obedient children, but WISE children.
  • Be shameless in getting your kids to memorize scripture. Pay them, whatever!
  • Know your kids and let them learn God’s way in the way they are wired.

What a man does. Define manhood for your boys.

  • Step up.
  • Speak up.
  • Stand firm.
  • Stay humble.
  • Serve the King.

What a woman does. Define womanhood for your girls.

  • Seek God first.
  • Speak faithfully.
  • Show true beauty.
  • Stay humble.
  • Serve the Lord.

Practical examples. Teach them how to think.
“Dad, can I see that movie?” “I don’t know, do you think you should see that movie?”
I’m ok being the bad guy for my kids, but I’d rather them learn to be wise on their own.
Phil. 4:8. How does that measure up? Teach them to think!
Play “spot the lie” in what you watch.

Teaching Kids to Encourage Others

Everyone needs encouragement.  Sometimes it’s the little words of encouragement that get you through a rough day.  Sometimes it’s those little words of encouragement that can change the direction of a life.

This morning on the way to school, I had a chance to ask my 1st grader how she could encourage someone today.  The conversation turned into a discussion of what it means to be someone who encourages others.  She replied with examples of the things she might say to someone… “Your hair looks really pretty today”, “I really like that dress, it looks nice”, “You did a great job on that picture”, etc.  As we arrived at school, she headed off to the door and I watched her having a discussion with one of her classmates.  I was too far away to know what was said, but I could tell by the fact that they were both looking at the girl’s dress that my daughter had complimented her on how she looked.  The smile on the little girl’s face made my day.  We’ll never know, but just maybe it made her day too.

But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin – Hebrews 3:13